Ah, the long awaited, and much buzzed about Fifty Shades of Grey. I'd heard so much. And now it was finally time to see what all the fuss was about. I expected passion. I expected sweat. I expected moaning. I expected that outfit the Gimp wore in Pulp Fiction. But ultimately what I got was underwhelming. Imagine the acting you see in a daytime soap, in a Nicolas Sparks movie, after Sparks had been up all night watching soft-core porn. Of course it doesn't matter what I say or think. This movie is gonna clean up this weekend at the box office and then it will taper off fairly quickly, but only after making a tidy profit. Women are gonna grab their gal pals or force their Valentine to sit through it. And while it's not exactly painful, it's not exactly titillating or even all that entertaining. But I'm a guy. What do I know about it? Personally I was more aroused by Frozen. (Because Kristen Bell does one of the voices, not because I'm into animated kid films, sicko.)
Who is this movie for? Women. Duh.