Friday, May 29, 2015
It's been a pretty terrible year for wide theatrical releases. Three weeks ago I suffered through Hot Pursuit. Last week I toughed it out through Tomorrowland. And this week, my valuable time was wasted yet again, and it's San Andreas' fault (pun intended.) What a disaster ... and not just the natural kind! (pun intended again.)
Remember all those lame natural disaster movies of the 90's like Twister, Volcano, Dante's Peak, and then a decade later, The Day After Tomorrow? Yeah, well this one's worse. Not only do we have to suffer through all the requisite cliche characters, like the flawed hero (Dwayne Johnson) separated from his hot wife (Carla Gugino) and beautiful daughter (Alexandra Daddario), who now live with his wife's new fiance, the ultra rich but of course cowardly Ioan Gruffudd, but this time the acting and dialogue are atrocious! Johnson, Gugino, and Daddario all turn in performances barely worthy of Sharknado. I can't remember another movie where I groaned after every single line of dialogue.
From start to finish it's an extremely straightforward, dull disaster film suitable only for the brainless, yet with two baffling mysteries. How is Lost's Carlton Cuse responsible for the screenplay? And why is Paul Giamatti in this? I hope the paycheck was good for both of them, because they're both way too talented for this Hollywood summer schlockbuster.
Who is this movie for? Not me. And hopefully not you. Do yourself a favor and rewatch World War Z which does a lot of the same type of scenes about a million times better.